Redefining Typical: How to Adapt When Life (Inevitably) Changes
I spend a lot of time thinking about time. Maybe too much! For me, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Did I obsess about time before I was a productivity coach and professional organizer, or do I obsess about time BECAUSE I am a productivity coach and professional organizer? Who knows? But I digress.
Here’s this week’s premise:
Our “typical” can change. The changes can come from outside of us, they can come from inside of us or our lives, or we can actively choose to initiate the change. The goal for today is to get good at identifying all three types, and set up structures that help you adapt to those changes.
As I write this, it’s nearing the end of July. I’ve been mapping what “typical” will look like for me come September. And there are many factors that go into that. I have been reviewing my typical morning and evening routines, typical work day, a typical work week plus choir rehearsals to run that begin again in September, presentations to give, volunteering with my parish’s School of Religious Education which also starts back up again in September, or keeping involved with my local school district.
And I keep saying “typical”, though we know that not every week is typical. Let’s say, then, that I am creating a template for a standard day and week because having a template lets me be flexible within that template. If I already know what the big plans are, I can be flexible with all the other components. And I am being purposely vague because if you’re thinking these thoughts, too, everybody’s schedule is different. Everybody’s situation is different.
A few weeks ago, someone asked me if I “have a typical 9-5? A normal day job? Or something else?” and I had to laugh, what is typical? A normal day job? I haven't had a normal day job in 22 years.
“Typical”? Like most of you, some of the main components of my life have changed over time - my family responsibilities to my kids and my parents and my husband, for example - and those look very different than they were 5 or 10 years ago. Some components go away, some components stay but change, and some components are added in.
Professionally, for example, my Board of Education work has ended, but in August, I will be working with two Highway Construction Careers Training Programs, doubling my time with one and tripling my time with the other with more sessions and topic areas. From September to December, I will be student success coaching for another cohort of students at Moraine Valley Community College. Hence, the recent mapping of my typical schedule this Fall, and reviewing what IS and imagining what Could Be.
Back to the premise for today’s article, these are examples of how our “typical” can change if we actively choose to initiate the change, or the change comes from us. I chose to take on these professional responsibilities.
Relatedly, Last week,
My music director reached out to ask if I could sing for a Funeral Mass and I said yes, of course. The family asked for me specifically. I mentioned in a recent article and episode that scheduling Funerals are the highest priority. I am blessed to be able to minister to families.
That isn’t the part that relates to time, though. The fact that it was scheduled for 1:30 pm on a Friday made my brain stutter a bit. I got stuck on that for a little bit because that is not a typical time to schedule anything at my parish. Our typical, our usual, would be to schedule a Mass for 9:30, 10:30 or occasionally 11 am. So my thoughts kept getting stuck on that - “but we don't do 1:30. That’s not a thing.” But apparently it is.
You see, those morning times have been our “typical” times for the last 16 years, and maybe before that. Our great pastor of 16 years retired in June and was replaced by another great pastor. I knew things would change. And perhaps this is one of those things. So I need to adjust my thinking and my scheduling practices and I will. It's fine. But this is one of the “changes from outside of us” examples.
We still have some power over changes even if they come from outside of us. We can choose to say yes or no to taking part in the change to our typical. I can choose to say yes or no to this new liturgy schedule if I really had a problem with it. OR, I can decide if this is an important area for me or not, and it is, and to look at how to make the changes fit with what is already in place in my schedule.
And that was the second part of the plan for today, right? To get good at recognizing that our typical schedule is changing and having structures in place to help us succeed.
Because change is the only sure thing in life. Our typical schedule WILL change, it’s just a matter of specifics. Sometimes we believe that what is occurring in our schedule today will always be occurring in our schedule or our routine or our life. And that is not the case.
Our children arrive and grow and move out. There is day care, and school and high school and maybe college. Our shift at work changes, or we change jobs or professions. The world goes a little crazy with a pandemic and now working virtually is widely accepted. Sometimes our situation, like our family or job, initiates the changes, sometimes they are initiated for us from outside, and sometimes we get to make the change for ourselves.
Since change is inevitable, how do we get good at managing our time and our schedule and re-creating our “typical”?
As we jump in here, I want to remind you and me that this doesn’t have to be perfect. We just established that our time and schedule will change, and then change again. That might sound exhausting, I know. But I’m going to look at this optimistically - we don’t have to get everything right because it is going to change again anyway and we’ll get more opportunities to learn how to adjust successfully!
Ask yourself some questions:
If this is a time of transition for you - and let’s face it, most days are weeks are! - Dream big - what is your ideal? So looking at our ideal, what would we want that to be? What would we want that to look like? And moving towards that.
I went to Alaska in June. And honestly, going on vacation might give you a glimpse into your ideal! Not that we can sustain that, but hear me out!
I read books and we hiked every day. My ideal adds in, for example, spending an hour in the morning on exercise and meditation. I am inconsistent at present. As I work on my new typical, I would like to work those things in.
Also, what ask, from a needs assessment perspective, what challenges do you repeatedly encounter? Or what problems do you repeatedly have to solve?
I need to better communicate my commute time to my family members and my team that what looks like white space on the calendar is actually drive time.
I do not always have realistic time estimates for regular and also incidental tasks, or I forget to assign blocks of time for them, imagining they will just get done “whenever”, and then they do not.
What is most important (hearkening back to last week’s topic - not everything can matter all the time!)?
What do I want to do more of? How do I plan for other opportunities of that?
We get to look and say, what do I want my new typical to look like?
Ask the Who Question, as you plan your new typical:
Who are the major players? Who are my decision making stakeholders? For example, I have some recurring clients I see on the same day every week or month. An every Wednesday morning client, a first Tuesday of the month, a first Thursday of the month. I'm checking in with all of my regularly scheduled people and asking them now for September. Do you still like our arrangement? Does that still work? Do you want a different day? I have two accountability partners and my podcast producer who have regular spots on my weekly schedule, and I asked them the same.
And then, let’s think about the structures to support us in the changes:
Checking in regularly - for me that is Spring and Fall - on your scheduling practices.
Proactively planning how you want your calendar and schedule to look.
Leave yourself notes for the next time you review your “Typical” of team members or decision makers or questions to ask.
What are my resources? My tools? Regular planning meeting, shared calendar, etc.
Thanks for walking through this with me this week!
