Not Everything Can Be First: Choosing What Matters Most

I commuted on an early morning last week for a client move project. Client moves are their own flavor when it comes to scheduling and organizing and in- person consulting.  And, as I have mentioned before, I catch up on listening to podcasts while I drive, so I was listening to The Lazy Genius with Kendra Adachi. This is a great podcast, great content, well produced.  I don’t remember which friend or community member recommended her to me, but whoever you are, thank you!  After you finish this episode of my podcast, you can hop over and subscribe to The Lazy Genius. And I don’t use the word lazy, nor do I think she is lazy, but she is a genius, amazing at sharing hacks for life.

That episode, she was answering messages from listeners, and I think I love that idea, too and may borrow it for upcoming episodes!  In one of her answers to a message, she said, “you can’t make everything matter and that at times, some things will have to take a backseat to other things.”

Truth.

Also last week, a coaching client and I were discussing the idea that if “Everything Thing Is Your Favorite, Nothing is your Favorite”. Sound familiar?  It did to me.  In organizing and in coaching.

https://www.peaceofmindpo.com/blog/all-tasks-are-not-created-equal from this Spring, 

https://www.peaceofmindpo.com/blog/168-hours-a-week-1440-minutes-a-day from 2010

Let’s look at how that translates to productivity and life. I mean, really for me,  productivity is life. 

We can’t make everything matter all the time.  Some days, some things are more important than others.  And really, we need to acknowledge that and be ready to work with that fact, be ready to be flexible and also ready and able to make good decisions on what does matter today.

Because one step further, past goal setting and prioritizing, is decision making and what factors you base your decisions on. Because we can’t make every factor matter equally nd at times, some things will have to take a backseat. 

On the day of that early project, we were dogsitting for my grand-dog Toby, he’s a yorkie and a very good boy. But that morning, his needs mattered more than my usual morning routine, especially since I was up and on the road so early.  So that day, given my decision making factors of client scheduling and dog care, I adjusted my routine because those things mattered most that day, more than other factors.

We can see that, right? We can see that different things matter on different days, and that’s just life.  What I didn't do that morning was sit down and work at my computer like I typically would because something had to give. And in this case, what I had to give was spending an hour on administrative tasks in the interest of other things.

I have tools that help with those decisions, and so do you.  For example, a glance at my to-do list reminded me that at 7 am on a Thursday, there wasn't anything else that had to be done before noon that day. 

Because I set goals, I know all of the tasks on my to-do list that move up and down in priority are still in keeping with my goals.  I mean, it’s July, we’re half way through the year. There are still a million things I want to accomplish and do and experience in 2025, though it has been pretty great so far. But as I make decisions on what matters most, I know that most steps I take move me towards my goals.

In addition, that morning, a glance at my up-to-date calendar showed a gap between my first client and my second client, so I knew I could check in on things between those appointments.  I have structures in place to be flexible when some weeks demand attention to specific priorities or Focus Areas.  Which means, too, that if situations cause some focus areas to move to the front of the line, something else has to give.  Something else gets dropped in priority until, say, next week.

For me, for example, from a productivity standpoint, some weeks are about client moves, some are about writing content, some are about teaching classes. This week, I need to start working on my communications and prepping for another cohort of students I will be coaching in September.  And I want to get that squared away soon because August is going to be very busy with teaching more content to the career readiness training programs I work with.

Yes, not everything can matter every day. Not everything can matter all at once. 

The last 2 weeks were also deemed “John Weeks”. My youngest son landed a great opportunity to work with incoming freshmen at his university for the next two weeks, which moved his “move back to college” date up by 3 weeks.  No pressure.  He’s a very organized person, so it was a matter of planning and doing, not panicking.  He rocks.  But his apartment situation and roommate are different this year than last, so there were trips to Costo, Home Depot, Kohl’s, etc., and final family activities before he headed out!

Other tasks got pushed aside, gladly, to make room for John Week activities. As they should. I have a few scheduling mantras or policies.  “Kids come first” (even now that they’re grown) is one of them.  I will always answer phone calls from my parents or my in-laws.  When I was Board of Education President, board work always won.  If I am asked to sing for a wedding or funeral, those win.

Let’s look at other decision making factors.  Priorities are important, focus areas are where it’s at.  But some days we even need to cut out even more parameters.  Because we can’t make everything matter all the time. Here’s an example.

A strong value of mine in life and also when working with my clients is to leave the least negative impact on the environment. In addition, I always hope to do the most good.  But there are times when I work with my clients that hey - we just need results in the time we have allotted to a particular project.  And recycling is recycling, even if I haven’t separated out corrugate cardboard to donate to a local gardener or glass bottles to a local crafter.  Ecofriendly practices are always important and helping others is always important, but keeping my client’s agenda and timeline in mind - that will always win.  So, some days, recycling is recycling.

Same goes with donations.  I have many clients who wait to part with their items until they find the absolute perfect solution or destination for their items.  And you should know by now that when I use the word “perfect”, I really mean fictional, at least in this plane of existence.  Let’s find  the Best Solution for today, to still make progress on the projects and do the best we can with the time and resources we have.

I’ve had two clients recently who needed to close out their home offices and shred confidential information from past jobs. Yes, we could have spent hours sorting grocery lists for recycling from client paperwork to shred, but in these situations, it was more important to just complete the confidential shredding. With a few trips to ProShred in Tinley Park, the work is done, the shredding is complete, and the offices are closed out.

All of that is to say, we can work towards the perfect solution but we might not find it today. We can keep looking, but let’s make decisions on what we know today. Because we can’t make everything matter all the time. When we put too many qualifiers on our actions and decisions, this type of thinking impedes progress and success.  

I have recommended getting specific about tasks on our to-do list, but when we put too many qualifiers on our goals or our projects, when we get attached or stuck on how exactly we want every facet in our lives to roll out, when we put too many qualifiers on a decision, we’re not going to make that decision.

If we decide we will only act if we find the perfect item, the perfect solution, and all the parameters have equal weight and importance to make that happen - yep, never going to happen. We might complicate things so greatly that there is absolutely no way to succeed. We defeat ourselves before we can even begin. We can’t make everything matter all the time.

I added this next bit 5 minutes after I originally recorded the content for today’s article and episode. 

Because life is just funny some days. After recording, I continued to drive to my client’s house in slow Chicago rush hour traffic because, well, sometimes that happens too.  It was a beautiful morning and Lake Michigan looked lovely. That’s a trade off, right? 

While I was recording the above content that Thursday morning, my landscaper texted me. I’m happy to get this project done!  I finally made it a higher priority a few weeks ago, and the team was scheduled to start that Sunday.  The plan was to trim the existing trees, and pull up the old red volcanic rock and the shrub stumps to make room for new plants which would go in the next Sunday.  Instead, per the text, could I have the plants purchased for installation the first Sunday? The Sunday I moved my son back to college after cantoring the third of three Masses including a wedding? That Sunday?  He knew none of that, of course.   (insert laughter here)

Because why not? And I answered “Of course!” And now that project rises to the top of the list, that trip to Home Depot before Sunday morning, and something else will wait until next week.  We can’t make everything matter all the time.   

It will all work out because it always does. And we need to get comfortable knowing that “We can’t make everything matter and that at times, some things will have to take a backseat to other things.”