Clear Is Kind: Setting Communication Boundaries

Last week, we looked at Clear and Kind Communications in our Non-Verbal Communications. 

And to refresh:

Clear Communication is Kind Communication.
Kind is respectful, even when you don’t have easy things to say.
Kind is timely.
Kind is understanding that different people have different ways and speeds of processing information.
Clear is Kind.

Continuing with that theme this week, let’s look at Clear and Kind Communications in terms of our Communication Policies.  

In the content I created for the Professional Development on Communications in May, I asked participants to consider their communication policies. “Do you have them? What are they? And, are there changes you would make?” Plus, a step we often skip, “How do you communicate your policies with others?”

Personally, however, we set Boundaries. “What are boundaries in practical terms? (Per Therapy Central) They’re your personal guidelines for how you want to be treated, what you’re willing to accept, and what you absolutely won’t tolerate. These aren’t walls designed to keep people out; they’re more like garden fences that create healthy spaces where relationships can flourish.”

And maybe you’re like me! Owning my own company means that my professional and personal lives and communications blend ALL THE TIME. And Boundaries and Policies are the same!  

The working title for this topic, at least in my head, was “Boundaries in our Communications”. The idea came to me as I was preparing to go on vacation for a week and I was sharing with my current clients that I would be unavailable for that time but would follow up when I got home. That is an example of setting a healthy boundary.  Per Positive Psychology, “Healthy boundaries require self-awareness, clear communication, and respect.”  

When we think about it, the policies we set for our professional communications, or perhaps are set for us in the work place by our companies, are boundaries - those policies provide expectations for us as individuals and how we are expected to communicate with others as a basis of respect and orderly conduct towards the workplace’s goals. You and I are individuals, yes, but we need policies just as any company or employee manual does.

I talk often about routines and time management and productivity tools, and Policies and Boundaries align with these.  Good communications save time and hassle when we are clear with what we are saying, and can then get back to our important work.

Before I dive in, let me start with the end in mind.  The recap at the end of the article says:

• Clear Communication is Kind Communication.  

• Workplace communication policies guide our actions in how we communicate with others and how they communicate with us.

• Boundaries are the personal policies we set for just ourselves, our personal guidelines for how we want to be treated, and what we will and won’t accept.

• Ask and answer these questions regarding your personal boundaries around your communications:

  • Do you have them? 

  • What are they? 

  • What changes would you make? And

  • How do you communicate your policies with others?

• And, we’re all a work in progress!

Let’s get specific.

As an example, in my communication presentation, I encouraged my participants to determine their professional communication policies.  A participant talked to me afterward about drafting their workplace communication boundaries. Those might include:

• They will not contact co-workers regarding work outside of regular office hours, and they expect the same respect in return.

• Since their job responsibilities often take them away from their desk much of their workday, their outgoing voice mail message should mention the response time a caller can expect.

  • That script may look like this: “I will respond to phone calls within xxx hours, or on the next work day. For immediate response, please (text me, call the main departmental phone number, etc.)”

• Because the college where they work is closed on Fridays in the summer, they should mention that in their outgoing voicemail message and out-of-office email messages.

• Any policies they have should be shared everywhere. In their voice mail message, the signature line in their email message, their out-of-office notifications, and a quick and clear statement for when they run into someone in the hallway or need to share policies in a meeting, etc.

• The changes this participant will make is in the communicating of policies to others. Asking those questions, Yes, They have policies, they have stated them, they are satisfied with the current policies, and now it’s time to broadcast them.

Similarly, recent conversations with clients yielded these workplace communication policies: :

• We may need a hierarchy, written or unwritten, of prioritizing responses to specific people in the organization.  (Meaning, I need to answer an email or phone call from my boss before I answer a message from a co-worker).

• We should use co-working platforms like Teams for quick notes and quick action, and send emails for more complex issues.

• We should keep Teams / co-working messages specific to work.

• And a favorite of mine when emailing, (almost) Never hit reply all and only use BCC!

 So, what would this look like as we create our own Personal Communication Policies? Our Boundaries? You likely have some boundaries that you use, even if you haven’t called them that.  I won’t assume what yours are, but I will share mine as examples! 

• As I set my boundaries, I keep in mind my motivation for this topic: Clear Communication is Kind Communication. Boundaries cultivate positive relationships while they protect and honor my peace.  (What would your motivation be?)

• I have boundaries for texting, my preferred method of communication:

  • I answer texts, emails and calls between 7 am and 8 pm.

  • I have a sleep focus set on my phone that silences all notifications except for family members between 8 pm and 7 am.

    • This is good news for the people who text me at 11 pm. When I get a text that late, I spitefully WANT to text them back - multiple times! - at 5 am when I wake up, but I do not.

  • I also have a hierarchy of prioritizing responses to specific people.

  • During presentations and client appointments, I screen my calls and texts by glancing at my smartwatch and ignore almost all.  

  • I do not initiate text conversations with clients on weekends or outside work hours, and I request the same.

• Phone Calls, specifically:

  • I rarely chat on the phone, I prefer texting or speaking in person.

  • I rarely answer my phone, especially if I don’t recognize the number. 

    • I am typically in the middle of something and my ADHD brain is already thinking a dozen thoughts at this moment and can’t handle more.

  • I will speak on the phone, we just need to set a time and make an appointment, unless you’re my mother.

• Boundaries are OUR decisions on OUR behavior. We can’t make others do anything. But, as an example, I CAN model the behavior I prefer.

  • In my presentations, I encourage people to follow up with me but via text or email because I don’t answer my phone!

  • I have my policies stated briefly in my email signatures and in my outgoing voicemail message, “For quickest response, Please Text Me!”

  • I initiate correspondence in my chosen method (texting is preferred).

  • I will not send a text or make a call outside what might be deemed business hours.  

  • I do not typically answer work related calls, texts or emails on a weekend.

  • In some relationships like a coaching relationship, I ask others for their preferred method of communication. Perhaps someone will some day ask me the same!

  • If someone asks me to text them, I will.

    • For example, I received an email and a phone call from a person to book me for a presentation in February, and in the last line of her email, she said to follow up via text. So I did. And I explained that in the text, and she thanked me for paying attention.

Here’s how to act on these ideas!

• After you’ve answered the 4 questions, 

• Explore your phone settings and set your focus times for yourself

• Have template tasks for regular communications (I have a recurring task every Monday to check my phone for texts I may have received over the weekend to answer during regular business hours).

• Set up your voicemail outgoing message, complete with policies.

• Set up your email signature, complete with policies, work #, alternate work #, etc.

• Be clear when YOU are communicating. If you despise receiving a “Hey, can we talk?” or “Call me when you get a chance.” (UGH!), be clear 

  • “I need 5 minutes of your time to talk about the dinner this weekend, can I call you?” 

  • We can only hope that we may then receive the same in return!

In full transparency, I work every day at consistency with these boundaries.  The irony was not lost on me - as I worked on this article yesterday (a Sunday), I received texts from 3 different clients. And, I answered 2.  Bending my own boundary.  But I’m working on it!

What have we learned?

• Clear Communication is Kind Communication.  

• Workplace communication policies guide our actions in how we communicate with others and how they communicate with us.

• Boundaries are the personal policies we set for just ourselves, our personal guidelines for how we want to be treated, and what we will and won’t accept.

• Ask yourself and answer these questions regarding your personal boundaries around your communications:

  • Do you have them? 

  • What are they? 

  • What changes would you make? And

  • How do you communicate your policies with others?

• And, we’re all a work in progress!

Consider these suggestions this week and get clear and kind in your communication!

Reference Articles:

https://positivepsychology.com/great-self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/

https://therapy-central.com/2025/09/19/personal-boundaries-examples-tips/