Why Goal Setting Works (and Resolutions Usually Don’t)
I've been thinking a lot about goal setting these last few weeks.
I mean, of course I have.
As in, Yes, I am offering 2 presentations in the next 7 days on the topic of Goal Setting and I’ve been updating my content to keep it fresh for those audiences, but also because this is the time of year for Resolutions (or not!). And, more importantly, I’ve been thinking about goal setting because I like to set goals personally and professionally for the new month, new quarter and new year.
Please note, I am separating Goal Setting from Resolutions.
I am a fan of resolutions, of course, but New Year Resolutions and Goal Setting are completely different activities. And goal setting - GOOD goal setting with structure and supports - will help you succeed more readily than Resolutions any day.
Goal setting is for any day. For EVERY day.
A few more words on Resolutions, and why Goal Setting should go along with yours or even replace them!
Unfortunately, our New Year’s Resolutions, along with good intentions, often fail. The statistic is that only 9% of resolutions will actually stick. And last year, I learned that the second Friday of the year is called Quitter’s Day.
Sometimes resolutions fail because…
We look to others when we set our resolutions.
We see someone else achieving something that we want, and we say - hey, I’ll do that, too! We see the results of others without considering what went into those results.
Or, someone (like our culture or media) suggests our resolutions without asking us what we WANT to do. Resolutions become “shoulds”, and we lose sight of the Why. We punish ourselves with resolutions instead of signing up for resolutions that love us back.
Or, we make resolutions with no support in place to actually succeed, and then we lose heart when we inevitably get off track.
Or, they are not specific enough, and are often too large or sweeping, and then we lose momentum when we don’t see immediate results.
We forget that new habits take time and energy, tools and strategies, and we don’t always consider that when we make our resolutions.
We set resolutions when we’re tired, burned out, still recovering from the holidays, in the darkest months of the year, in cold weather, etc., etc., on an arbitrary day on the calendar. I know. I’ve heard and felt all of these reasons for failure before and more.
Which is why we can stick with Goal Setting! The better success rate comes from tools, built in-supports and flexibility, and the fact you can set goals anytime. We set goals to make progress where we haven’t made progress before. Goals are for the things we never seem to get to, or for the tougher things that might take us a while to accomplish, but will move us forward.
Goal setting is NOT about maintenance, or about the things we’re already doing. As in, not “my goal for December 31, 2026 is to be exactly where I am today”. Sorry. But, Let me say this, though - setting goals could be about doing the things you do every day BETTER. Or cheaper or easier or with less stress. I love setting goals around the things that have been bugging me for days or weeks.
For example, a goal this past October was to finally clean off the shelves in my garage that I growled at every day when I saw them. Every day. And with some planning, a LOT of recycling and special errands to drop things off once and for all and a firm deadline, the shelves are clear and I breathe a sigh of relief when I see them now.
A goal could be to do something I regularly do better or quicker so I can do other things, like save money or make room in my life for a person or a relationship or a hobby.
This week, let’s get to How To Choose what goals to set, and next week we will look at the tools to make them happen.
Let’s get started:
Grab a calendar, notebook or your preferred digital item.
Make note of the big things that are already on the calendar for 2026. These are not goals. These are the things that are going to happen anyway, but that will also impact all the other things you want to or need to accomplish this year. For example,
One son will graduate from college this year, and one son will graduate from graduate school this year. I pray those graduations are not on the same day, and I just added “look at academic calendars” to my to-do list. One son and daughter-in-law will make major life changes this year as well. These are not my goals, they are my family members’ goals, but they matter to my time and energy and capacity to take on new responsibilities at those times. I will not set huge, lofty and time-hungry goals with a deadline of my son’s graduation date, for example.
Both of my parents are having surgery in the first quarter of 2026. Not my goals, still noteworthy.
We will take a trip to the East Coast in August. Not a goal but noteworthy.
These are major events and need to be considered as I set goals. So we start with those.
This should be a 1.5: Learn from past experiences.
Note the times of transitions that have occasionally tripped you up in the past. For example, for me, the shift to the summer schedule in May tends to require extra time and planning and self-acceptance. As you look at your year, plan to cut yourself slack now!
Look at last year’s goals - are they all complete? If not, are there still some you would like to complete? Make a note.
Remember that 2026 is 12 months long.
For example, one of my 2026 goals is to read at least one non-fiction book every month. Good news, I don’t need to know today what my nonfiction book for October is going to be to still make progress. I have a long time to figure that out. I do know what my nonfiction book for January is, though, and that is a good place to start.
Not all 2026 goals need to start immediately. You can name a goal and also identify that it can start in the Spring or Summer, or Q4.
As you think about goal setting and if you don’t know what goals to set, consider what I recently read about, “Domains”:
Physical Health (sleep, nutrition, movement, medical, energy, not just “fitness”, stress recovery and rest)
Mental & Emotional Well-Being (emotional awareness and regulation, mental health support, coping skills, self-compassion and resilience)
Relationships & Community, Family (friendships, partnerships, boundaries, communication, connection, sense of belonging and support)
Work, Career, or Contribution, Paid work (vocation, caregiving, volunteering, skill development and purpose, alignment between values and daily work)
Finances, Income (spending, saving, debt, financial clarity and confidence, long-term stability and flexibility)
Home & Environment (physical spaces: home, office, car; organization, safety, comfort, digital environment, too)
Personal Growth & Learning (learning new skills or ideas, reflection, creativity, curiosity, identity growth over time)
Time, Energy & Life Management (planning, routines, systems, priorities and boundaries, margin and white space)
Fun, Rest & Joy (play, hobbies, pleasure, celebration and lightness, permission to enjoy life)
Meaning, Values & Spiritual Life (if relevant, faith, spirituality, or philosophy, values clarification, sense of purpose beyond productivity)
Setting a goal in each of the focus areas is a strategy. (If you want to learn more about Focus areas, go back and listen to episode 4? 5?)
For example, in my Focus Areas,
Service: Ministry, volunteering. A goal could be a certain number of paid liturgical gigs in the next 3 months.
A Home goal is to finish swapping my sons’ bedrooms by March 9 (when my son comes home for his college’s Spring Break. This takes into account the other things I have going on so I don’t need to do this until February, but I really want to be able to call it done! First step, check on that desk / book shelf thing from Ikea.
PERS: Complete the password manager project (no deadline yet), or join a local University community choir (first rehearsal is next week.
WLNS: A daily meditation practice, consistent exercise and introductory strength training because I am a woman of a certain age.
POM Speaking, clients, content, operations
Another strategy, identify a problem you would like to solve once and for all.
For example, as I write this article on a Sunday afternoon, my grocery order just arrived. I cannot express to you how happy this makes me, in terms of goal setting. For years, I was frustrated with grocery shopping and all the time it took to plan the trip, inventory what I have on hand, make a menu plan, make a list, go to the store, spend the time at the store, load everything into my car and then into my house, then put it all away, etc. I set a goal years ago to set up on-line grocery delivery. I did the work and set up the accounts and the system, and I reap the benefits every week. (deep cleansing sigh)
As you rest and recover from a busy December, or as you jump feet first into a new year - whichever state you find yourself in, or anything in between! - give some thought about what it is you want to accomplish this week and this month and this quarter and this year!
Are there tasks and projects you never seem to get to and you really want to? Is there something tough you need to tackle that will be worth the hard work when it is complete? Is there something you are already doing that you would like to uplevel and do better? Is there a recurring problem or challenge that you would like to solve once and for all? Collect them all, and next week we will look at how to make them happen!
