Start With the End in Mind: Creating Calm, On-Time Mornings
This time of year, I get many questions about getting out the door on time, from families with students and also adults who want to make better choices for themselves, as well!
I get it! This is an age old challenge, for every one of us! Let’s tackle this, and my first suggestion and the guiding theme for today’s episode and article is to Start With The End In Mind.
Last week, I walked through a visualization exercise with my Highway Construction Careers students, and asked them to close their eyes and imagine themselves in 5 years successful, and what that looks and feels like. What are they doing? Where are they? Who is with them? This exercise set the stage for our work that morning in Time Management and Goal Setting and Productivity.
To Start With The End In Mind, try this exercise for yourself, and with kids if you have them! The question is “What does a successful morning look like?”
A common answer could be:
“Arriving at school or work calm and prepared, a few minutes before my scheduled time. Maybe even having a moment or two to collect myself, my thoughts and belongings, before heading inside.“
Sound good? I think so, too.
What are the components here?
Successfully arriving on time or even early
Collecting your thoughts and belongings before heading inside.
Calm and Prepared
Let’s break this down and make it happen, but in reverse order, starting with the end in mind.
ARRIVAL
First up: Know what “on-time” is.
Whoa. I know. Mind blowing.
And let me drop another pearl of wisdom on you, as a seasoned and experienced parent and board of education member. When a school says “The School Day starts at 8:10 a.m.”, they mean “arrive 20 minutes earlier”. You’re welcome. Add that to the list of things I wish someone had told me, so I am telling you.
The “start time” is when the teachers expect to start working with and teaching their students. Students need to be in the building, having been to their locker, and in the classroom at the start time. The better indicator of arrival time is the “the doors open at 8:00 a.m.”, so making sure your student is at the door at the “doors open” time is what you’re aiming for.
I cantored a Freshman Welcome Mass yesterday morning for a local Catholic High School. And as we wrapped up, the principal gave a welcome and kind words, and then shared logistics for pick up and drop off, especially for the first two days this week which would be just for the Freshman. She shared what time the school doors open every day (7:30 am), when the school day begins (8:30 am), how long after school the students are allowed to be in the building if they aren’t there for sports or activities (4 pm). She shared the different parking lot options for families, and the different drop points if you don’t want to use the parking lot.
Let’s turn that into adulting:
Years ago, a client shared that it was important to her to arrive early to meetings because she really liked to thoughtfully choose where she wanted to sit. That is a great motivator.
When does your appointment or work day start? What are the expectations when you arrive? If this is an appointment, is there paperwork to fill out when you arrive? Is there a 10 minute wait for the elevator? Do you expect to circle for half an hour for parking? Maybe that is just me here in Chicago. But again - know what On-Time means, and what your expectations are when you arrive.
ACTUAL COMMUTE:
I use my GPS almost every day. Not because I need the directions to get where I am going, but because I want the BEST route to get where I am going.
I have no way of knowing that there is traffic or construction, etc., on my usual routes that will derail my plans to arrive on time for appointments or activities, and so I will let GPS tell me if I need to opt for Plan B or Plan C or Plan Q to get from one point to another.
And, have you noticed? The GPS’s estimated time of arrival almost never decreases. Unfortunately, it only increases. I am not being negative or problematic or cranky, just realistic, to be honest. And if we know that, we can work with that, right?
I am not suggesting using GPS whenever you leave the house, though that is a strategy. I am suggesting we have a Plan B and C and D for routes to our destination, though. And if our transportation is unreliable, having a plan B for modes as well, like catching a ride with a co-worker, or taking the train instead of driving. And also, adding a few minutes cushion to our planning. If we leave ourselves a 5 minute cushion and arrive as planned, we win! We get to take our time instead of rushing!
Now, let’s look at the other parts of the Vision of Success: Arriving calm and collected. No rushing, feeling prepared.
When I talk to parents, “Not Rushing” is a recurring theme! I recently heard “Rushing in the morning is stressful! There’s yelling and nagging - from everyone - and we always forget something!” Working towards calm and prepared, and starting with the end in mind, what does that require?
Many years ago now, in a Parenting Magazine Article, I think the title was something about “Confessions of an Always Late Mom”, I want to give credit where credit is due - I read the phrase “Don’t let optimism win out over experience.”
Here's what that means: We cannot just say that we want calmer mornings and hope that saying it is enough. It’s not. We actually have to plan for it, and adjust routines and habits and spaces in our home to make that happen. The example in the article was that the author’s family always expected that telling their young school age children to get ready for school in the morning would work and yet it never did. Sound familiar?
Let me suggest, instead, we can ask,
What are the habits necessary to make calmer mornings happen?
What are the tools / features in our homes to make calmer mornings happen?
Beyond the tried and true “Get yourself up earlier so you’re ready before the kids get up” and “A Good Morning starts the night before, laying out clothes, packing bags and lunches, etc.” - though those are in there, too! - but for more information for yourself or your students regarding Routines, Organizing with Kids, Meal Planning and Prep, portable snacks, reusable water bottles, etc. please check out my Blog at PeaceofMindPO.com/blog, and use the search bar to ask for specifics. There are 500+ articles out there for you. I am not repeating those today.
But I will share a few newer examples of features in our homes that help for calmer mornings:
Listening to a recent Wirecutter episode (totally worth a listen, check it out!), https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/wirecutter-show-podcast-20260724-back-to-school-hacks/; a parent shared that they have a hairbrush and hair accessories in a drawer in the kitchen. Not because those are typically in most kitchens but because that worked for her and her family to not feel rushed, to feel ready for the day, to take care of that while her daughter was sitting still and eating breakfast. What similar feature would help you?
Perhaps you set up a technology charging station near where you enter and exit and pack the backpacks for you and your students.
Clear out your “leaving the house” zone of EVERYTHING that does not support a calm and collected morning. Move elsewhere or eliminate completely off season or off size shoes, outerwear and accessories; broken or duplicate accessories (for example, make sure all the umbrellas work!), any paperwork for days gone by, etc.
And finally, for goodness sake, Pack The Bag.
After singing at the Freshman Mass yesterday morning, my 22 year old and I were remembering drop-off mornings during his high school experience, and being behind the student in the drop-off line who stumbles out of the car only mostly dressed, with a drink in one hand, a single shoe in the other, and many things and bags hanging off their bodies or tucked under their arms as they struggle towards the school door.
For goodness sake, pack the bag. I mean actually pack it, instead of leaving the house with a million loose things in your hands and pockets or tucked under your arms, potentially dropping or forgetting them. Start with the end in mind for a calm arrival at school does not include falling out of the car when you get there, with all your stuff loose and laying on the ground or floor of the car!
What have we learned?
Know your arrival time, and the expectations when you get there.
When a school says “The School Day starts at 8:10 a.m.”, they mean “arrive 20 minutes earlier”.
Everywhere I am saying school day and student, you know - I’m talking to all of us, of course. Back to school or otherwise.
Commute and Arrival: Our ETA only increases. Create Plan Bs and Cs, and add in just a little more time, a cushion for flexibility.
Envision what a successful arrival at school or work looks like, and reverse plan your mornings to make that vision a reality. Let experience win over optimism.
I edited this article A LOT to focus just on mornings for Back To School time. I expect there is at least one more article on this topic in the next few weeks, about Starting with The End In Mind for a successful day, too!
