Self-Care Is Filling the Gas Tank
“And I don’t mean metaphorically, like “filling my tank”, I mean stopping for gasoline.”
This week’s topic is inspired by my 2 current cohorts of students with the Highway Construction Careers Training Programs. And a shout out to them, I know at least a few of them subscribed to my podcast and newsletter!
I spent a lot of time with these groups of students in the last few weeks. We start out every 12-week program with two 4 hour sessions each of Time Management and Stress Management in the first week, for obvious reasons. We all need good time and stress management strategies, but we especially need those strategies when taking on what is essentially an extra full time job for 12 weeks! And I was inspired by this week’s students to add in content to our sessions to create their own lists of self care tools. And they ran with it - thanks everybody!
In this month of February, when we celebrate love in all forms for Valentine's Day and when we all might need a little boost as winter drags on, let’s talk about how to love ourselves with some self care.
I am proud to say that I have learned a few things about Self- care. The things I want us to know, all of us including me:
For optimal functioning, bodies and minds need some things. Rest, consistently met needs, sleep of course, but also acts of self care.
Since self-care activities are very personal choices, we each need our own list of ways to take care of ourselves.
Many tasks or activities, done with intention and love, can be considered self care!
Back in December, I provided a professional development seminar on Stress management for the Holidays, and I shared with my participants a PDF list of self care ideas that I purchased as suggestions for managing their stress.
That felt embarrassing for me to say, by the way; that I outsourced coming up with a list of 100 good self care ideas. I'm going to be very honest - I mean, I always am - but this one feels a little rougher for me because I used to think I was terrible at self care. So yes, for 6 or 7 dollars, I purchased a list of self care ideas.
Here’s the learning though, for me - first, I am not embarrassed any more to say that to you, my readers and listeners - that I purchased a list. And second, as I reviewed the list and also shared it, I realized that I’m good at self care because we decide for ourselves what is self care for us.
In the most basic definition, Self care is “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health”. I like this statement, too, from a University of Florida blog, “Self-care means checking in with yourself and doing things that support your physical, emotional, mental, and even spiritual health.”
In those terms then, I’m good at self care. I just haven’t always resonated with what our culture suggests as self-care activities. For example, for me this past week, self-care was filling my gas tank.
And I don’t mean metaphorically, like “filling my tank”, I mean stopping for gasoline.
Let me set it up for you:
In class, my students and I talked about what they could add to their routines to help them succeed in this 12 week program, and one student identified that they planned to fill up their gas tank on Sundays to be ready for the week to come. Brilliant.
After class that day, as I was driving to my next activity, I realized that I could make my life easier for the week by filling up my gas tank, too. I still had half a tank, but knowing I had two long commutes coming up and not a lot of extra time between appointments, I realized I would have less to worry about if I just filled up that afternoon. And so I did.
It may sound like an errand, it’s not very exciting or special, but taking care of that task for myself so I would have less to worry about was an act of self care, of self love. And I reminded myself of that act of love and care multiple times over the next few days.
I made sure to let my student know that she had inspired me and why! I wanted to acknowledge that that was exactly what self care could be. Self love, taking care of ourselves.
As we worked on time management and stress management topics, I asked my students to get specific. We didn’t just talk about self-care, we shared activities that work for us. And since we can learn from other people’s ideas, too, so I’m glad we could listen to and learn from each other!
To get us started, I asked if anyone liked to listen to music. That idea resonated with many. Music is universal, readily available, personalizable, and low cost or no cost. We discussed what was relaxing or energizing, making sure the music we choose doesn’t make us angry or upset! I shared that I have my Morning Shower playlist on Spotify that I play… well… you can guess, during my Morning Shower! It’s a list of songs I love from artists I love, uplifting and upbeat (I listen to it at other times, too!).
What are the songs you can put on your own playlist? Are there songs that you could put together to uplift you, motivate you, improve your mood, make you happy?
Another example, a number of students mentioned they liked to work out or play sports to take care of themselves. They always feel better after they work out and some of them work out with friends, which feels great, too.
Here’s the partial list of self care activities my students identified in our discussion:
Listening to music, and specifically uplifting music
Going to the Gym / exercise (physical activity is great for us physically and mentally!)
Taking a drive at night, time to think
Playing sports, either solo sports or with friends
Listening to favorite podcasts
Drawing
Getting a hair cut
Petting a dog or cat
Taking a shower
What's on your list?
And I mean it when I say it - MAKE A LIST! When you need the ideas, you may already be feeling tired or stressed or depleted, so eliminating the need to think about what will make things better for you is already an act of self love!
Do you need to break down your list into “free or low cost / higher cost ideas”, or how long the activity takes, or if it is a solo activity or requires a friend? Go for it!
Perhaps you have noticed, and so have I: your list will be very personal, which was one of my earlier points.
And here is the last one. What we also talk about in time management and stress management is Intention. And here is the good news: You and I can elevate anything - everything! - if we do it with intention and purpose and love. That includes acts of self care.
In a recent article / episode, I mentioned updating my routines and drinking a big glass of water at 6 am every day. I stop for a moment when I am doing it to remind me of my intention, that drinking this water will help me feel good all day. That is a big self hug.
Last week’s topic was meal planning. Batch cooking meals for the week on a Sunday night is an act of self care for me. Doing so makes my life easier for the week, gives me healthy and nourishing food, takes care of me so I can continue to show up for everybody else, and I like to cook. Cooking becomes elevated with intention and with love in my heart. For me, that counts as self care.
If you are figuring out your own list, answer this question: I always feel better or happy after I… (fill in the blank here)..
After I work out.
After I call my friend / mom / sister-in-law / kids.
After I reconnect for a few minutes with my significant other.
After I take a nap.
After I get a good night’s sleep.
After I take a walk.
After I work out.
After I meditate.
What’s on your list?
Here are some things that make my list. “I always feel better after…”
Listening to music, like my Morning Shower Playlist idea
Singing and playing my flute
And also sitting in silence
Taking myself out for coffee
Being outside in nature
Meditating
Being with my husband and my kids
Acts of service
Reading
Coloring. I have mandala and celtic pattern coloring books. It makes me happy to color in them. It’s very soothing.
Checking on specific friend’s Social Media pages because they share motivational messages
And other self care supports I have in place, in addition to self care and activities like meal planning that I mentionedL
I am in counseling. Are you? It was one of the first two suggestions I was given when I received my ADHD diagnosis. And it’s good.
I get a massage and chiropractic adjustment once a month. Ahhh….
Saying no to unrealistic requests or expectations
To recap,
“Self-care means checking in with yourself and doing things that support your physical, emotional, mental, and even spiritual health.”
Our brains and bodies need self care activities for optimal functioning.
Self care activities vary from person to person, and since we may already be tired or depleted when we think about how to take care of ourselves, it benefits us to have our personal list of activities ready!
Many tasks or activities, done with intention and love, can be considered self care!
This week, I invite you to make your list. I love a good list. Identify your activities, make a list and be ready to reach for it regularly, not just when you’re feeling low but consistently to take good care of yourself.
