Motivation Matters: Finding, Fueling, and Refreshing Your Drive
Thanks so much for the feedback from the Life Long Learner podcast and article! I am so glad it resonates with so many of you.
With transparency, I will start this article out similarly to the Learning Plan article: - I have partially written articles about this topic, and it has been tough to write about because it is personal for each of us and it’s also a really broad topic! But, I want to get these ideas out to you, so I will bring my notes together, clean them up and hit publish!
This week, we’re looking at Motivation.
I have conversations regularly with friends, peers and clients about motivation. About where it comes from, about what we each find motivating, and sometimes, often - what to do with it feels like it has fled! And this is understandable, of course, because I think that even high performing, high achieving, amazing human beings occasionally lose their motivation, or it lags for a day or week or sometimes longer.
Let's consider what I just said: Motivation is a thing that we can both find and lose. We can find it, build it, use it up, destroy it. It is a commodity, it is a resource. We can increase our motivation. We can take active steps to increase our motivation if it's lacking. So that's the good news. And the bad news is that it also can be depleted quickly by certain factors.
Let’s figure this out together.
What Is Motivation, and what are related concepts to motivation.
Per Merriam-Webster, to Motivate is “to provide with a motive” (Ok, Merriam-Webster, let’s not use the word within the definition of the word! But I digress).
Other more useful definitions for motivation include “To provide a reason for doing something; a force, stimulus, or influence; the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way: incentive, drive.”
These are very active words. Motivation inspires action. And sometimes we need motivation to STOP doing something or to shift to doing something else. Those steps also require motivation. Motivation is often connected to goal setting, prioritizing, discipline, and the lack of it is connected to procrastination.
No wonder my clients and I talk about motivation!
Let’s ask, What are possible motivators for you, and for me? And for others?
And, I am going to assume positive intent here! Meaning, I will assume we are motivated by positive things.
Just last week, I talked about adult learning. Similar to learning as children, very often, when we are young, our motivations come from our parents or adults in our life. But there comes a time when we need to identify motivators for ourselves. We need to identify what boosts our own motivation and also what depletes it. This is highly personal, and can also change over time.
To refresh, motivation means “to provide a reason for doing something; a force, stimulus, or influence; the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way: incentive, drive.”
Since motivation is a force, we can recognize that some people may require a stronger force to generate movement. They may be motivated by comfort or ease or complacency, and while those aren’t inherently bad, those forces can keep them from acting on other things and that can become a problem. We need to seek other motivators as well that exert a stronger force towards action.
On the other hand, perhaps you are a highly motivated individual, with the energy and opportunities to match, and you have never needed to ask yourself about motivation. And that is truly awesome! But it is still important to identify what your motivators are, in case it doesn’t always come so easily, or a time comes when you need to or want to pivot.
There are many motivators that can move us. We can start with the basics - the desire for survival, security, safety, avoidance of pain or shame.
Getting more specific, a google search provided dozens of options of motivation that can be grouped into categories:
Personal growth towards self actualization;
Knowledge and learning;
Relationships and connection with others, belonging;
Happiness or fun or joy;
Esteem from clothes, respect and fame;
Purpose and altruism (positive impact on others and the world);
Success or achievement;
Money; and
Security.
You’re likely motivated by more than one thing, and that is good. If one motivator fails or conversely, is satisfied - like security and stability, another may move up the list.
AND, once you determine yours, write them down! When we get to the “what to do when we’re feeling unmotivated” portion next, you need to be able to remind yourself of your motivators.
Sometimes we get distracted, sometimes our brain is so busy doing the work that we forget the motivation, or we need to recommit. When that happens, it helps to not have to do the harder work of identifying your motivators again! Which leads me to…
What To Do When Motivation Lags (Or, How To Keep Motivation High):
In the same way that there are dozens of motivators for each of us, there’s likely a similar number of opposite forces that can decrease our motivation hourly, daily, weekly, etc.
The first step is the awareness that motivation has decreased or disappeared, and then giving ourselves grace and self compassion. Then asking questions to determine the why, and then taking steps to bring it back.
Let’s start with some easy and obvious reasons, or maybe not so obvious, why our motivation may lag. We are going to start heavy here, friends. Are you dealing with acute or chronic illness of your own or a loved one, anxiety, depression, ADHD or grief? All of these can derail your motivation. And please, friend, show yourself some grace and compassion. Sometimes there are more important issues at hand than motivation. There are days and weeks and seasons of our lives that our motivations to succeed and achieve are overshadowed by very real concerns of survival and struggle.
Show Grace. Show Compassion.
We can also remember that motivation requires action, as in often, actual physical activity, so we need to check in on our daily physical selves. Being tired or hungry or in need of a break can look like a lack of motivation. And we know that physical needs must be met, and met consistently, before we can achieve or succeed.
Ruling out other issues, let’s remember that motivation is not a bottomless well. Zig Ziglar says, “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing– that’s why we recommend it daily”. I started this article reminding us that motivation is a commodity, which means it can be depleted and may also need to be refreshed.
Here are some ways to do that.
Set Goals. Yes, I said it. Set Goals. If you don’t know where you’re going or what you want to do or be, it is difficult to be motivated. Our vision for our future influences our our goals. Goals provide motivation and help us prioritize our efforts.
Create a practice of reminding yourself of your motivators. Return to the practice when the depleters have done a number on you. Daily? A couple times a day? Weekly? Depends on the day or week?! Check in on that that list I suggested you make!
Make your mantra. Keep it short, keep it meaningful, and be ready to use it! Yes, I have a mantra that helps me make decisions, helps me to focus, helps me to stay motivated to do the right things. My Mantra is “In Service to God, Family, Community and Humanity, In That Order”. I find it energizing and motivating, and I use it all the time. Make your own. And use it!
Routines, routines, routines. I was thinking about motivation this morning before I got out of bed. As in, if I was unmotivated, what would get me out of bed? Knowing what motivates me, I have created routines to take care of necessary tasks every day, which means I have more energy and brainspace for motivation for other tasks. I don’t require motivation to take a shower or take my vitamins, which saves that precious commodity of motivation for other more difficult or important tasks later.
Use inertia. Inertia is the property of matter where a body at rest stays at rest and a body in motion stays in motion, barring other forces acting on them, like friction. If you’re already moving, stay moving. For example, something basic like - “I need to get up for a nature break or a snack, and while I am up, I can (fill in the blank here with a task) .”
Habit Stack: The author James Clear tells us to attach new and difficult habits or tasks to existing habits, to make the new ones more likely to stick. Support motivation by attaching a task you have a hard time initiating to a task that is easy for you. I used to forget to take my morning medications and supplements until I stacked them with my morning cup of coffee habit. Now I am consistent with both.
Finally, Phone a friend: I have spoken about accountability before, and I will be talking about it again in an upcoming episode. Having the support of others around us can be motivating in lots of ways (personal connection, esteem and respect, altruism if we’re helping them, too.), and doing for others can help us get motivated if doing for ourselves isn’t enough to inspire action.
And, here is the most difficult thing for me to write about this topic. I do not have the answers for you for your motivation. I do not hold the secrets for you. I wish I did - I would share! In coaching, as your coach, I do not have the answers. But you do. If you’re willing to seek, and commit to change. To identify the gap, and find the force that will help you move from where you are to where you want to be.
