Clutter 2.0: Making Progress When Other People Are Involved
Today I am sharing the second half of my new Clutter 2.0 content, so that means Clutter 2.0, part 2! Last week, we looked at deciding on our decluttering projects, getting really specific on what we need to do to complete them and then managing the work to make progress!
This week, I want to look at the most important part of a project - the people!
Last week, I shared a list of common statements from my clients and class participants about their projects, like I’m overwhelmed, or I don’t know where to start, or I lost momentum, or -
It’s not me, it’s the other people!
I NEED other people and support to make my projects happen, or for the heavy lifting, etc.
Those statements were addressed, somewhat, with the strategies from last week, but they still have to do with people!
You or I as the person responsible for the projects, but also who is overwhelmed by or unclear about or unmotivated to complete our projects.
The people who own the clutter and stuff.
And the people who may help with clearing the clutter and completing the projects.
Looking at that list, let’s make it all about you and me! (and motivation).
I wrote an article this summer, Move First, Motivate Later: How Action Creates Momentum, https://www.peaceofmindpo.com/blog/move-first-motivate-later-how-action-creates-momentum
To sum up the article, we don't always start out with motivation or momentum. AND, we don’t wait to start our project until we feel motivated. Motivation comes later, from action and progress. And then, so does Momentum.
Which means, we start with our task list that we created last week, and we make some progress and then motivation comes! But, I know - sometimes this is easier said than done.
Let’s shift perspectives. Think about employees. Why do they do the work?
They are compensated for their time.
There is a finite amount of time for today’s shift, then they get to go and do something else!
They are trained for the job, and / or provided resources to complete it.
With some of those in mind, how would you hire Yourself?
Let’s ask, what is YOUR compensation for this project? Meaning, what is in it for you. What is the pay off? A clear space? An opportunity to use a space in your home or office for something else. Money from selling things? Peace of Mind?
For example, it was 85 degrees this week but I want to spend time switching out my closet for Fall. For me, to complete this project will make getting dressed in the morning or for special events like presentations and singing gigs easier. I can review summer items before I put them away and purge anything that is old / unused / unloved. I can inventory what items I have and determine if I need to purchase anything for cooler weather.
And of the three reasons, the “less stress in getting dressed” is what really sells it for me. An hour today will save me hours throughout the next 6 months! That is compensation enough!
Now, what does the work shift look like?
Today, do you have 5 minutes or 2 hours to dedicate to this project?
DO NOT LEAVE A PROJECT open ended. For many people, having vague boundaries on a project keeps them from ever getting started.
And ask yourself, do you prefer to work in short bursts throughout your week or in a marathon session on a Saturday?
Also, ask - do you know how to do what you need to do? If you are not a handy person but your project requires assembling furniture or moving heavy items, it may be time to call in assistance from others. We would do that as an employee, of course, so let’s normalize doing that with our own projects as well! And learn from your projects. If you really love some types of organizing projects but not others, plan ahead next time to call in help earlier on those tougher jobs!
Now is a good time to talk about finding people to help you.
Perhaps your family, friends or co-workers, equally invested in completing your projects, can help with your projects.
OR, maybe it is time to hire a handyman, a moving company, a junk hauling company, a document shredding company or a cleaning team. Or to call a non-profit organization to come and pick up donations.
Perhaps your community has resources for helping people with projects, or you can find someone using an app like TaskRabbit. And remember, as I mentioned in last week’s article and episode, Services can be performed quickly or cheaply or well, but you can’t usually have all three.
Next up, let’s talk about Organizing With and For and Around Other People:
This is definitely on the list of “you asked the question, so let's talk about it” topics.
A common question I receive during my presentations is “What if a family member causes the disorganization or clutter problem?”
Fair question. When we define clutter as anything we don’t need, use or love, we may only be considering ourselves. We are not allowed to define clutter as “this pile of things is mine so it isn’t clutter, but that pile of things is yours so it is clutter.”
There are a couple of facets to this broad Other People Question:
Buy In – Permission. We need to ask for permission and decision making parameters
Buy In – we need buy-in for participation.
You are motivated and interested and you have a plan… but the people around you may not have given any of this a thought. Think about this:
If you’re reading or listening this week, You have likely found me through an event, maybe we met because you came to a presentation, maybe you’re one of my clients, or maybe you are interested in organizing principles, and so you have subscribed and followed and here we are. I'm so glad to have you here.
However, our loved ones may have absolutely no awareness of or interest in organizing. They may not be ready to do the things that you are ready to do. Or the idea may have not even occurred to them.
Has anyone ever modeled the behavior or results you want from your loved ones? Years ago, a client said I was the first person who hadn’t yelled at them to get organized but instead showed them what it meant. Their mom had always yelled at them to get organized, but as a child, they didn’t know what that meant.
Therefore, Be ready to communicate VERY CLEARLY.
We sell the benefits to everyone (what’s in it for them)
We communicate so they understand what is important and why we are doing what we are doing.
We communicate the plan and responsibilities.
Whether they choose to participate or not is on them, but you have to communicate the what and the why.
When Organizing With others - and I don’t say “must” often, but we MUST get permission. Or at least I, as your certified professional organizer, MUST get permission. To touch people’s stuff, and certainly to purge people’s stuff.
Permission is important. I have worked with hoarders, and removing items without permission can cause trauma and a destruction of trust. As an aside, If you think someone you love is a hoarder, check out the institute for Challenging Disorganization, https://www.challengingdisorganization.org/, for resources.
Decision Making Parameters:
I often hear “How do I organize someone else.” And the short answer is, you kinda can't. BUT there is much more to say, because we can ask for decision-making parameters.
This is not the ideal situation for clearing clutter, I know. It’s always better to get the stuff-owner to participate. But I can’t guarantee that, and neither can you.
When you get specific on a project in your home, as we looked at last week, you can get specific, too, about what tasks are your responsibility and what tasks belong to someone else. If you need to organize others, you can complete some of the steps in the organizing process independently of the owner of the items.
For example, I can organize a kitchen for another person. And so can you.
I can start with getting rid of trash and recycling and expired foods (less clutter already!).
From there, I can ask how they use the space and then use general principles like:
grouping like with like, like bringing all the coffee mugs together,
purging all the broken or too small or non-matching mugs, and
suggesting storage solutions like a cabinet stacker or storing holiday mugs with holiday decor.
Obviously, for more subjective decisions, I can’t sort for someone else based on “favorites”, or “treasures”, or paid vs. unpaid bills, but I can make progress!
I am going to wrap up with a few very specific situations for organizing other people’s things:
Be Ready to act on the decisions of others. And, we can’t make someone love something.
If you find yourself in this situation, I know it is difficult. And don’t get me started on grown children leaving their parents with a mess to clean up after they have grown up and moved out. However, if someone left something at your house and says “just get rid of it / donate it / sell it, etc.”, do that.
For example, a client’s grown child has told her repeatedly that they do NOT want items still at her house from their childhood and to just donate the items. My client doesn’t want them either, but she hesitates to act on her child’s decisions, and that has stalled her organizing projects. We can’t make people love something, and be Ready to act on the decisions of others
And, Outside of the terms of a will, if you’re the keeper of things after someone has passed, you own it now. You attach the meaning, and you make the decisions. Keep it to use it. Keep it to do something with it to honor that person. Or purge it - Sell / Donate, shred, recycle.
I know, that stinks and I get it. I had to make these decisions for my Dad’s belongings this summer, and it was hard because we are also grieving. But the decisions had to be made so we could move forward with the terms of his will. And so we did.
Whew!
Ok, what did we learn?
People are part of every project!
Motivation and momentum come with progress.
Consider your projects as though you are an employee.
There are people and resources available to assist you with your projects.
When organizing with and for others, we must ask for permission, and decision making rules.
And finally, we can’t make people love something and sometimes we have to act on the decisions of others to make progress on our projects.
Thanks for sticking with me to the end! I hope you found this helpful, and please reach out to me if you need more ideas and suggestions for working with others and their stuff!
