Better Together: Why Accountability Helps Us Do What We Already Know
I will start with the end in mind: We are better together.
We are smart people, and we also need experts to help us determine what the right things to do are. And we’re more likely to do those right things if we have supportive people to help us do them.
We are better together. Today we’re looking at the power of accountability.
On a recent call, an insightful friend mentioned that she was scheduled for an upcoming PT appointment and she hadn’t been doing the prescribed exercises faithfully. She mentioned, too, that in times past, she might have been tempted to cancel her appointment with her physical therapist because she was embarrassed that she hadn't done the work. She shared, “Sometimes when we feel accountable to someone, it would be tempting to cancel the appointment so we didn't have to admit to them that we didn't do what we were supposed to do.”
Yep. I know that is true and that she is right. There are times I feel the same way.
Better still, though - she later shared that she was glad that she had kept her appointment with her physical therapist because her PT is very kind and said, “ok, well, let’s use this as a reset”. No judgement, no punishment, and let’s just get back to it.
I like that. Receiving some grace even though she didn’t do the things, and also the reminder of what she is supposed to do and how to do it.
That was one recent conversation about accountability. About using the regularly scheduled appointment to recommit to the progress we want to make, recommit to ourselves, with the guidance of an expert or team member or medical professional in this case, knowing they will be keeping track with us.
Relatedly, I have monthly maintenance chiropractic appointments (I go to the Natural Health Improvement Center in Palos - they’re awesome!), and I was chatting with my chiropractor as he snapped, crackled and popped my back. We always have good conversations, and as he also has coursework in physical therapy, I mentioned my friend’s insight about not wanting to see her physical therapist because she hadn't done what she was supposed to do. And he said, you know, isn't that the truth?
He observed that “85% of our problems would be gone if we would actually do what we know that we're supposed to do. If we are going to a physical therapist because we have a sore shoulder, our shoulder would likely be less sore sooner if we are compliant and do the exercises that were given to us.” If we’re accountable to ourselves, first, to get things done. And if not to ourselves then to our physical therapist. If we’re compliant, we can expect to feel better or we can expect to do better. If we aren’t, we may still heal over time, like the example of physical therapy, but we'd probably heal faster or feel better sooner if we just did the things that we were supposed to do.
(And before I left my chiropractic appointment, I confirmed I didn’t have any homework before I left!)
Isn't that true for a lot of things?
As I chatted with my chiropractor, I mentioned that the same idea holds true for organizing and coaching. There are things that my clients themselves declare that they want to do or change or achieve, and those would happen more quickly if they kept up on organizational or productivity practices regularly and not just when they and I are scheduled to meet.
I strongly recommend to my in-person clients that they maintain their organizational progress between our organizing appointments so that when we are together, we can start on a new project on their list instead of spending an appointment just getting us back to normal. And I offer accountability support to them if they find that helpful, like checking in or sending reminders.
If we maintain the organizing between appointments, we can make more progress during our sessions. The in-between times, the daily activities, are when we make the habits, maintain and even make more progress.
A friend recently mentioned that he goes to a local gym and works with a personal trainer every other week. Not every visit, but a few times a month to keep him on track with progress. The trainer will make sure he’s doing his exercises with proper form to avoid injury and will suggest new ideas when he is ready to advance.
All of this is accountability. Accountability is doing what we said we will do. We know that accountability works. When I have had issues to work on, my chiropractor will send me a short video on how to do the stretches or exercises the right way, or refer me to his youtube channel to watch. And he will ask at next appointments how the exercises are going, how often I’m able to do them, if they have gotten easier over time, etc. Regularly scheduled, checking in, requiring a report from me on if I am doing what I said I would do and how it is going. Similarly, when I had PT years ago for a hip issue, they provided handouts on how to continue the healing on my own at home. I left them in a highly visible place as a reminder to do them, and also to remind me to report back to my PT at my next appointment on how things were progressing.
Progress is in the in-between times. It is in compliance and maintenance.
First, let’s realize this truth.
Progress is in the in-between times. It is in compliance and maintenance.
And then we need to identify where in our lives, personally, professionally, medically, whatever, we can use this information! Where do we tend to stumble? What sound and sage advice have we been given by people who are experts in whatever we are paying them to be our experts about? And, are we actually doing the things that we are told to do?
It would be great if we can be accountable to ourselves and commit to and complete the exercises or the reps or the organizational maintenance on our own. But some of us just aren’t made that way, and in addition to our experts, we may need support from our community as well.
It’s not magic. It is support around small and consistent steps towards a goal. How much better would things be if we kept up with that consistent action that we have been advised to take? And how much easier would that consistent action be if and when we have a partner in that process with us?
Some of us do better with exercise classes, that we sign up for and pay money for and have friends waiting for us to arrive at. That is accountability. Or we find we’re more consistent when we have a walking buddy. That is accountability. I work with professors and authors who have been in professional writing accountability groups. The group members are working on separate topics, but having a block of time on the calendar to virtually meet helps the members make progress faster than if they wrote alone. That’s accountability.
I am that accountability partner to others in productivity coaching and organizing. I have sent weekly texts to clients to say -
Hey! It’s going to be a great week! This is a reminder that you wanted to do x and y and z every week, you’ve got this! Let me know how else I can help!
Or, “We’re scheduled to meet next week, and you wanted to make progress on this or that before we meet, how is that going? There is still time to make progress!
Or, here’s an article that I read that supports those things you were talking about in our last coaching session, let me know how you feel about it.
Ready to give it a try?
Accountability can simply be telling a supportive person about your goals. If they are a friend or loved one, you may even want to talk about how they can support the plan, like asking for check-ins, or arranging that you will send a celebratory text when you accomplish today’s task, write the article, take the walk, make the difficult phone call, etc.
Yes, I have two accountability partners. The process helps me in a number of ways.
I am a verbal processor, so having an opportunity to talk things out when I need clarity is very helpful.
We write reports (descriptive emails) to each other a day before our planned meetings, and writing helps me to collect and organize my thoughts and check my progress.
Choose well:
Both of my accountability partners have been professional organizers and have experience and insight to my professional world. One I met while taking coaching courses together and is the coach I want to be when I grow up! This is not required, but it is something to think about.
It is also not required to know a person well to set up accountability with them. A side benefit, though, is that my accountability partners are really great individuals, our friendship has grown over time, and it is awesome to have them on the team.
We are better together.
We’re smart people, and we also need experts to help us determine what the right things to do are. And we’re more likely to do those right things if we have supportive people to help us do them. We are better together and that is the power of accountability.
